Article by Sarah


Sometimes lessons are hard.  Many things that we're supposed to learn are difficult for us to truly absorb.  They go against our patterns, and force us into new ways of thinking.  Or at least that's what it can feel like!  When you finally understand and process the lesson you've been moving through, it's amazingly rewarding, and it's hard to believe it was such a struggle.  But being in the thick of things can really wear you down.  In the last few years, I've developed some ways of dealing with the truly tough lessons.

1.    Write encouraging messages to yourself.  This especially helps if you have a day job, and can't control your environment all day, every day.  You may want to keep your personal goals under wraps, but you can still write something positive that reminds you of your goal on a sticky note, and post it in your work space.  If you're at home, try your fridge or your bathroom mirror – you know where you're most likely to need it, and to see it.  You can use code, if you like, or a quote from a book, movie, or tv show.  Pick something that will help you feel centered, calm, and happy, each and every time you see it.

2.    Use your headphones.  These days, everyone seems to have an mp3 player – that's great!  You'll blend in with the crowd.  But carefully choose music or programs that make you feel your best.  Listening to whatever happens to be on the radio might not help you along your path.  Might I suggest – Deborah's weekly podcast?  It never fails to help me feel more centered and serene.  If you prefer music, everyone has that perfect song that makes them happy no matter what.  Make a full tape/compilation of just those songs, just for you.  When you need it, stop what you're doing and play your special music.  You're taking three steps, here.  You're preparing for the time when you'll need a lift – taking care of yourself.  You're seeing that you need a lift – identifying your feelings correctly.  You're doing something for yourself to make you feel better – taking action on your own behalf.

3.    Acknowledge your mistakes – Reward your successes.  As you close down for the day, think for just a minute about your day.  Did you watch your feelings?  Were there any moments you felt you could have done better, been calmer, more centered?  This isn't the time to dwell on these, but to re-enact them with an alternative ending.  Was there a moment you could have taken a break, glanced at your positive sticky note, and listened to your own personal soundtrack?  That 5 minute break could have helped you deal with the rest of the day.  So acknowledge that, then picture yourself taking that break the next time.  If you can see yourself doing it, you'll be more likely to recognize it when it comes around again.  The next day, if you find yourself at that stress point again, take the opportunity to relax for a few minutes.  Then, at the end of the day, you can replay that moment and congratulate yourself!  You took your break and took care of yourself – way to go!

We're all learning different lessons, and struggling to succeed in our own ways.  Using little tools like these can make our challenges easier, and help us learn to take care of ourselves as we move through our own life lessons.


Copyright 2008 Sarah P.

Do you remember the first moments of being in “love” with someone new? The feeling of this is meant to be, this is so right. That magnetic attraction that pulls you closer and everything feels so perfect. You might have looked across the room and your eyes met, drawing you towards each other as if there was no one else in the room. Everything synchronisticly seems to be pointing to, they're the one, my true soul mate. The mind seems to only be concentrated on them. Your thoughts are only filled with them, over loading your senses with the fragrance of “love”. Have you ever experienced this? Have you ever experienced this more than once in life?

Perhaps begin to ask yourself, what is that magnetic attraction that pulls you closer making everything “feel” so right? Why does your mind spin around and around with obsessive thoughts of them? What really is it that is pulling you towards each other? What is it that is being fulfilled? What emptiness is being satiated by them? How is it that I felt this way with the last person, believing they were the one? Only to realize that no, I made a mistake, this is the one. How many one's are there? How many soul mates, twin flames and eternal mates can one have? How does a love that is so amazing in the beginning, end up causing so much pain? Yet, there is no memory of the pain when the next “one” walks in the room. Have you ever noticed it is the same person with a different face?

Maybe it has nothing to do with love at all, but rather need. There is something that person is giving us that makes us feel complete. Eventually the person that brought us our wholeness is now leaving us empty again. Now comes the cycle of pain, heart ache and again the emptiness of what we have not completed within ourself. Perhaps the answer lies in pattern. We date the same experience over and over until we come to understand that what we are seeking in someone else can only be fulfilled within ourselves. We cannot look outside of ourselves and expect someone to complete us, we must complete ourself. Someone else cannot make us whole, only we can. It is very common for a human to reach outside of themselves to gain what they feel is lacking. Only we can give to ourself what we need to be whole. Once we have made ourself whole then we can look for a relationship that is outside of pattern. A relationship that is outside of our needing them to make us complete. We can come to a relationship fulfilled in life, needing nothing outside of ourself and can enjoy each other in an authentic way. Pattern love is painful and not fulfilling. Loving ourselves and then going towards someone with our whole self, them with their whole selves is really what love is. If you are looking for that person to complete you, you are in pattern. Complete yourself, love yourself and be happy with yourself and then you can authentically love another. It's that old saying, you can't love someone else until you love yourself”.

Copyright 2009 Laurie R.